Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Word Wednesday - Candor

candor \KAN-der\, noun:
1. honesty in giving one's view or opinion; frankness and sincerity
2. fairness; impartiality

Candoris just another word for honesty.
I believe in honesty. I also believe in diplomacy, but I only learned that as an adult.
My mother used to say I was honest as the day is long. Does that mean I lie more in the Winter? Not sure she ever gave me an answer for my wise acre comment.
I try to be honest in all things unless being diplomatic is the better choice.
The manuscript I'm working on now is about honesty. It's about honesty with yourself as well as others. Anyone can lie to themselves about who they are and whether they possess certain traits. That is, until they have children. When you have that trait reflected back at you in a smaller version, you can no longer deny that you are a certain way. My oldest son has my sarcasm gene. What a surprise! But I like my sarcasm. It has lightened many tense situations over the years.
My hero in my latest story lies by omission about who he really is. He pretends to be something he isn't. He doesnt' change his basic character, but he does change some facts to get the heroine. But those facts also contribute to who he is.
The heroine is just coming to terms with who she is and who she will never be. And she's okay with it. I know what that's like. In the last two years I've purged my basement of many things. A lot of them were projects that reflected a person I wanted to be. I've decided I'm okay with not being that person. That's why I like this heroine. She's okay with who she is.
When I was a kid I thought adults knew it all. That at some point you are comfortable with yourself. I wish I'd known it would take me this long to get to that point. I might have tried harder.
Back to honesty.
What aren't you being honest with yourself about?


Morgan Mandel said...

Though at times I make valiant attempts, I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not a neat person. I also realize that I get bored easily. That's one reason why I switch around various genres when I write. That way I can keep my enthusiasm level going.

Morgan Mandel

Anonymous said...

You hit the nail on the head about the projects in your basement!I have very similar, and they do reflect the person I wanted to be or "should" be. I've definitely come to terms with that, although I haven't done a purge of those things yet in my basement. Good post!


Aimlesswriter said...

Can I take the fifth?
I don't have a basement but the spare room needs purging.

Margaret Tanner said...

Hi Chris,
You were brave going through your basement. I don't have a basement but my "office" read converted bedroom, is a mess. I have a ton of stuff here that I should get rid of, but can't seem to motivate myself to do it.


Anonymous said...

I don't know that I want to be totally honest with myself. I mean, sometimes I like to see myself through rose colored glasses. It seems to me that total honesty might shatter some dreams that admittedly might not come true but still give us goals to shoot for.

Anonymous said...

Like your ideas here and seems to go along with my own stories. My heroine in CAST THE FIRST STONE is a dowser who loses her ability to dowse when she begins to question the integrity of her brother, the person she's trying to save by dowsing.
As for being honest myself: I try to be honest with others, but I know sometimes I see myself as I want to be, not as who I am.
We are all of "human bondage!"

Chris Redding said...

Nice to know I'm not the only one who has that baggage in my basement. Or had in my case.